I can often smell my neighbour’s cooking as it wafts its way up the stairs and into my flat.This is fine when they are making bacon rolls for breakfast or a nice Sunday roast and, at these times, I wish… Read More ›
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Horror-scopes
I remember that I was 14 and on holiday in Southend when I first entered a fortune teller’s tent. She took one look at my strapping frame and insisted that I was going to join the army.I knew that I… Read More ›
Ripping Yarn
I’m still finding the shiny polymer £5 and £10 notes very annoying.Firstly, they are hard to unstick from each other. This always works against me, never for me. I’ve never been handed back too much money but have accidentally handed… Read More ›
Post Office Friends
When scrolling through the “Recommended Friends” section on Facebook, am I the only person who thinks I don’t want to be friends with any of these people? These are supposed to be their best profile pictures and they all look… Read More ›
School Daze
With school exams underway, my thoughts turned to my own schooldays – or “Thursdays” as I often called them.I’m not saying my attendance record was poor, but I got taken off the school register and asked to sign the visitor’s… Read More ›
Talking Rubbish
Space agencies are currently launching spacecraft to retrieve man-made space junk by deploying large nets and harpoon guns – because astronauts are renowned for their constant secret illegal smuggling of whales into space?Another idea in development is to use a… Read More ›
Miss Ilford And Me
I was 5 when I first fell in love. I was standing on the pavement when a blonde woman glided by, smiling and waving at me.To be honest, as she was the Ilford Carnival Queen, she smiled and waved at… Read More ›
Shoe-pidity
I’ve never understood people who insist you remove your shoes when entering their homes.What’s that all about?Most have had their carpets laid down for years, you’re hardly going to ruin them with leather/rubber/plastic footwear.It’s not like your shoes have been… Read More ›
Facebook Frightmares
I only joined Facebook six years ago and only after my friends had got weary of me sending them long emails that they simply hadn’t the time or enthusiasm to reply to. In short, they politely said: “Look, if you… Read More ›
April Fool
Don’t you love April Fool’s day?It’s a day where your dad will annoyingly repeatedly tell you that your shoe-laces are undone because it was considered hilariously funny in his school playground.And a day where every newspaper will run a story… Read More ›
Russ Writes 