Author Archives

  • April Fool

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    Don’t you love April Fool’s day?It’s a day where your dad will annoyingly repeatedly tell you that your shoe-laces are undone because it was considered hilariously funny in his school playground.And a day where every newspaper will run a story… Read More ›

  • Clocks

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    Doubtless, over the next couple of days someone will tell you “Don’t forget to put your clocks forward on Saturday night.”At which point you’ll have to go through that stupid conversation where you have to say – because it’s the… Read More ›

  • Tom Kerridge And Me

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    As a kid, I was seriously overweight. I wasn’t so much a fifth child, more a Space-Hopper for my siblings to bounce on around the garden.I was probably the only “man-made” object on Earth to be seen from outer space.Alarmed,… Read More ›

  • The Beast From The East

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    So, there was I, stupidly thinking that I had successfully navigated my way through another miserable winter, when suddenly, the UK got hit by “The Beast From The East” – Probably because nothing rhymes with Siberia apart from Liberia and… Read More ›

  • Happy Days

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    I really hate the song “If you’re happy and you know it…”To remind you, it goes “If you’re happy and you know it (So, presumably you can be happy and not know it?) clap your hands!”Which is okay, just don’t… Read More ›

  • Britain’s Got No Talent

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    I wish I was born in the era when only the talented became famous. People who could act, sing, dance or play instruments. There’s a reason why they were called stars.Nowadays people are famous for getting on with their daily… Read More ›

  • Blown Up Out Of Proportion

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    My sister asked me to set up her new “Talk and Text” phone. Being “Entry Level” I could easily manage it.She asked me how often she should charge it because, in her words, she doesn’t want to “over-charge it and… Read More ›

  • The Nutella Riots

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    Recently, throughout France, violent riots broke out in a chain of supermarkets after they reduced the price of Nutella by 70% from £3.90 a jar to £1.40.One woman had her hair pulled out, another suffered a black eye and a… Read More ›

  • Writing Wrongs

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    Lifestyle magazine, Vice, recently complained that the Edinburgh café where JK Rowling famously wrote her Harry Potter stories has become an ugly tourist attraction where people dressed as wizards congregate in awe and worship.As someone who has written 20 funny… Read More ›

  • Energy Drinks

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    I am often surprised at how many empty energy drink cans I see strewn across the pavements. I assume they aren’t very good because it seems that anyone who drinks them still hasn’t got the energy to walk to the… Read More ›