Author Archives

  • Being A Dad

    I’m looking forward to seeing my lad today. With all due respect to all my other family and friends, he is the most important person in my life and, if I achieve nothing else in my entire life (That’s going… Read More ›

  • Application! Application! Application!

    I have a computer – not like the big one I wanted from The Time Tunnel, slightly smaller – but nonetheless I have one and, in normal land, this would be great. But I don’t live in normal land with… Read More ›

  • The Angry Self Service Checkout

    Tesco have recently opened its first checkout free store in London. Anyone with the Tesco app will be able to check into the branch, pick up their groceries and leave without having to use a physical in-store till. Instead they’ll… Read More ›

  • The Dental Hygienist 2

    I went to my dental hygienist today. She asked how I had been getting on and I told her I was using an electric toothbrush and she said… “They’re really good as it leaves your other hand free to do… Read More ›

  • Noah And God

    The following is a conversation between Noah and God… Noah: I was watching the weather forecast with that Thomas, Tomas, Tomasz Schafercake…? Louise Lear and she said there’s gonna be a massive flood. Something to do with Global Warming. I… Read More ›

  • Old People Getting Covid Vaccinated

    There is something wrong with old people. Whenever there is a TV news crew around they love to smile and telll them how much they are looking forward to their Covid vaccine. No one looks forward to being stabbed with… Read More ›

  • The Golden Age Of Cinema

    Before having a successful career as a lift engineer, my dad was an assistant projectionist in a London cinema, spooling, among other things, Pathe News and British propaganda films. His love of film carried on throughout his life and he… Read More ›

  • TweetCreeps

    I’m continuosly surprised by how many women on my Twitter feed have experienced unwarranted and unwanted harrassment in their Direct Messages (DMs) from guys who have instantly followed them back. The guys are often suggestive, often crude, or asking sexually… Read More ›

  • Mother’s Day Drawings

    With Mother’s Day approaching, many children celebrate the occasion by drawing pictures of their mums. As a child, I did likewise. The hair colour rules were simple. You’d use a black crayon if your mum had black hair. Brown crayon… Read More ›

  • The Masked Singer

    I’ve recently been spending my Saturday nights watching The Masked Singer .In the first series, the audience got removed after shouting “Take it off!” and left the studio without knowing the singer’s identity to save any social media spoiler alerts…. Read More ›