Post Office Friends

When scrolling through the “Recommended Friends” section on Facebook, am I the only person who thinks I don’t want to be friends with any of these people? These are supposed to be their best profile pictures and they all look like mad serial killers.
Worse, when I recently browsed the “Recommended Friends” list, it suggested my local post office.
Apparently, should I wish to add the post office as my friend, (Eh?) I already have “six mutual friends” for it, which left me questioning their sanity.
How can anyone be friends with the post office? It will never phone, never e-mail, never text or message you (just like some guys, apparently?) although it does send letters sometimes.
However, it will annoyingly and repeatedly ask you who your phone provider is; if your contents insurance is up for review and if you have life insurance – in case you die in the queue waiting for stamps whilst everyone is sending out cheap laundry bags full of parcels.
Also, it’s a very gloomy, unfriendly place. Even the staff must hate working there, or they wouldn’t take so many tea breaks and leave you queueing outside on the pavement.
What the hell were my friends thinking and how drunk were they when they thought, “I know, I’ll befriend the post office!” Because, I’m guessing, it probably didn’t send them a “friend request” first.
On further investigation, according to Facebook, I have friends who are friends of pubs and Pizza Hut – which, whilst still mad, is slightly more understandable.
But, as a rule, I tend to have people as friends because you can’t get on a bus with a building or take it to a concert, walk along a sandy beach with it or buy it a beer as they are rubbish at getting rounds in.
The only building I can ever be friends with is my flat – and even that’s locked me out three times.


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