Author Archives
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Ripping Yarn
I’m still finding the shiny polymer £5 and £10 notes very annoying.Firstly, they are hard to unstick from each other. This always works against me, never for me. I’ve never been handed back too much money but have accidentally handed… Read More ›
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Post Office Friends
When scrolling through the “Recommended Friends” section on Facebook, am I the only person who thinks I don’t want to be friends with any of these people? These are supposed to be their best profile pictures and they all look… Read More ›
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School Daze
With school exams underway, my thoughts turned to my own schooldays – or “Thursdays” as I often called them.I’m not saying my attendance record was poor, but I got taken off the school register and asked to sign the visitor’s… Read More ›
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Bigmouth Strikes Again!
Something strange happens to people when they board public transport. They inexplicably talk louder. People sat mere inches away from each other, start shouting as if they’re in a wind tunnel.It’s impossible to leave a bus or train without knowing… Read More ›
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Talking Rubbish
Space agencies are currently launching spacecraft to retrieve man-made space junk by deploying large nets and harpoon guns – because astronauts are renowned for their constant secret illegal smuggling of whales into space?Another idea in development is to use a… Read More ›
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Rain, Rain, Go Away!
A day after the recent mini-heatwave, I overheard a guy say: “We really need it to rain.”As I was a 20-minute walk from home, I really didn’t need it to rain. In fact, I have never, ever, needed it to… Read More ›
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Miss Ilford And Me
I was 5 when I first fell in love. I was standing on the pavement when a blonde woman glided by, smiling and waving at me.To be honest, as she was the Ilford Carnival Queen, she smiled and waved at… Read More ›
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Shoe-pidity
I’ve never understood people who insist you remove your shoes when entering their homes.What’s that all about?Most have had their carpets laid down for years, you’re hardly going to ruin them with leather/rubber/plastic footwear.It’s not like your shoes have been… Read More ›
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Facebook Frightmares
I only joined Facebook six years ago and only after my friends had got weary of me sending them long emails that they simply hadn’t the time or enthusiasm to reply to. In short, they politely said: “Look, if you… Read More ›
