Rain, Rain, Go Away!

A day after the recent mini-heatwave, I overheard a guy say: “We really need it to rain.”
As I was a 20-minute walk from home, I really didn’t need it to rain. In fact, I have never, ever, needed it to rain.
I can think of no occasion in my entire life, where I’ve have positively wanted it to rain either.
Watching open-air concerts or football? No. Barbecues and Firework displays? Definitely not. On holiday in hot countries? Never.
Rain has never improved anything in my life. If anything, it has posed even more ridiculous problems for me as I try to navigate my way through crowds of people who’ve seemingly, never noticed the invention of waterproof hooded jackets and are solely intent on prodding me in the shoulder or poking me in the eye with their umbrellas.
I occasionally lose all sense of spatial awareness when standing in every stupidly cramped Card Factory wearing my back-pack and am constantly turning and accidentally clumping old ladies around the head with it – sometimes on purpose if they’re in my way.
But how can you lose spatial awareness of other people when you are holding an umbrella the size of a dustbin lid?
Like bicycle proficiency tests, I think people should go on a course and be properly trained before being allowed out in public with an umbrella. I’d even say they should be licensed, like guns because in the wrong hands, they can equally injure or maim.
Rain causes other problems like giant pot-holes in roads – as I discovered when I recently fell down one, luckily avoiding the bus that passed overhead.
Despite hating rain, I’ve decided that I quite like the “threat of rain.”
As a naturally unsociable person, I really hate making small-talk on pavements but at least, when the sun momentarily disappears behind a tiny, wispy cloud, I can always say: “Oh, I’d better go home before it rains” and make my excuses and leave.
Yeah, “the threat of rain” is actually quite warming.


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