Many councils across England are reducing the number of CCTV cameras because of financial cutbacks. Some have failed to capture a single crime.
As a small child, I would often steal 11p Airfix paint pots from Woolworth’s.
Over time I must have stolen enough pots to paint a dozen aircraft. Sounds bad until you realise the aircraft were just miniature replica toy models.
I am not a bad person but occasionally, like most people, I wonder if I can steal something from a store and get away with it?
What stops me is that I really cannot be bothered to Sellotape all the insides of my 5p carrier bags with tin foil to avoid detection at the exit door tag and barcode scanners.
I once bought a vegetable steamer in Morrison’s and, as I was leaving, the door alarms went off, the store went into lockdown, shoppers and staff stared at me in dismay and, from nowhere, a SWAT team threw me to the ground.
At which point, I produced my till receipt and they sheepishly apologised and let me out.
Some stores take shoplifting very seriously. I cannot walk into Sports Direct wearing my back-pack without hearing over the staff walkie-talkies “Weird guy with a back-pack is looking at stuff he clearly cannot afford.”
So, I always try desperately hard not to accidentally knock clothes off their racks in case I have to crouch down to pick them up and get arrested for attempted shoplifting.
Until recently, my only “stealing” involved putting my unused Wetherspoons’ condiment sachets into my bag. Weird because I’m not desperately short of salt or vinegar. It was simply because I couldn’t be bothered to return them to the condiment cupboard and knew they’d get thrown away.
That “crime” has stopped since they introduced the proper size condiment shakers and bottles.
I won’t be stealing them. I know my luck. I’ll get caught by the last remaining CCTV camera in England.


Tags: , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: