Author Archives

  • Tanning Salons

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    My High Street is about to get a new Tanning Salon in a prime location – the corner of the High Street and the first shop you see when arriving from the train station and between McDonald’s and Wetherspoons. It’s… Read More ›

  • The Non-Essential Column

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    The government recently re-introduced the re-opening of non-essential shops. Yeah, because the one thing this country has been missing is a “non-essential” shop. Oh, but apparently they have, as swarms of people crowded into Sports Direct because the one thing… Read More ›

  • War Songs

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    I really hate the thought of getting old.Whenever I see news footage of the elderly in old people’s homes having a sing song, it’s always bloody war songs. Chelsea Pensioners yesterday singing “Well meet again” again.Surely, by now the generation… Read More ›

  • Stupid Local News

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    With The Coronavirus dominating all the international news headlines, I was surprised and intrigued to see today that the front-page story of my local newspaper reported a plane crash.However, the story is about a model aeroplane that crashed into a… Read More ›

  • The Brady Bunch

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    During the lock-down, with my lad grown up and living away, I haven’t had to deal with entertaining the kids, so I can’t imagine what it would be like for families like The Brady Bunch.For those who don’t remember The… Read More ›

  • I’ve Never Known Anything Like It

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    I’m getting irritated by people who say, in relation to the Coronavirus, “I’ve never known anything like it.”Every time I’ve reluctantly gone out, people who are supposed to be social distancing, have said that to me.Of course you haven’t known… Read More ›

  • 10 New Iceland Coronavirus Shopping Rules

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    (1) Stand outside on the pavement in a queue 6ft behind each other. Great exercise as you’ll find yourself 3 miles away and in the next town. (2) Operating a slow one in, one out policy, you’ll get called inside… Read More ›

  • Bedtime Story

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    When I entered the bed shop I wasn’t expecting to see a showroom the size of a football pitch with nicely made up beds along the walls.I felt like I had walked into a very posh 1960’s empty hospital ward.Using… Read More ›

  • The Coronavirus

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    I’m no Super forecaster (although I fit the description of “social misfit and weirdo”), and despite what the Health Secretary says or doesn’t say for fear of causing mass hysteria, I predict with the oncoming Coronavirus that by late March,… Read More ›

  • Shocking Award Ceremonies

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    The Brit Awards are not aimed at my age demographic. Luckily, TV executives commissioned “Walking With Dinosaurs” to cater for my need to see and relive my childhood.But I watch the awards anyway solely in the hope that something unexpected… Read More ›