There is something wrong with old people. Whenever there is a TV news crew around they love to smile and telll them how much they are looking forward to their Covid vaccine.
No one looks forward to being stabbed with a needle – maybe Pinhead from Hellraiser…?
How sad has your life become that this is regarded as a highlight?
As an old person, these are the things you are looking forward to…
Your birthday. I get it. It’s an achievement.
Bingo. Because winning soup is exciting.
Endless cups of tea.
Battenburg and lemon drizzle cakes.
Singing war songs at every opportunity even though you know Elvis songs. What are you thinking?
Visits from your children and grandchildren.
And that’s it.
I can understand you getting excited about a visit from your family but surely that is tinged with massive disappointment when you realise the only reason for their visit is to take you to a testing centre to get stabbed, not the local tea rooms?
That’s not a nice day out.
Maybe old people are just grateful to get anything for free?
And then, after getting jabbed, they come out beaming and tell reporters how lovely it all was and how much better they feel.
No one is that happy after an injection. Unless they’ve been injected with crystal meth.
Most people I know hate needles and getting injected.
But no one comes out afterwards, looks down the camera and says: “Bloody hell, that really hurt” or “I fainted and collapsed on the floor.”
Surely, someone has…?
No one has moaned about not getting tea and biscuits afterwards or being shoved out of the door
I can’t wait for my TV interview because “Well, I was okay until I saw I was being injected by the doctor from Dignitas” wouldn’t quite be the answer they were expecting.
I really hope things change before I’m eligible to reside at the Magnolia House Care Home. I’m hoping we’re all eating KFC’s, playing 5 a side balloon football or sitting around the piano, pointing at each other, singing Firestarter.