The Angry Self Service Checkout

Tesco have recently opened its first checkout free store in London. Anyone with the Tesco app will be able to check into the branch, pick up their groceries and leave without having to use a physical in-store till. Instead they’ll be charged to their card linked to their app and receive a receipt.

With the aid of cameras and weight sensors, the idea is to make the whole shopping experience easier and quicker by eliminating the queueing time.

I really hope so after I recently had a bad experience with a talking self-service till that started to interrogate me.

First it said: “Have you brought your own bag?”

Then it said: “Are you using any bags? If so, place it in the bagging area. It’s the bit marked “bagging area.””

“So you aren’t using one of ours, then? Why, what’s wrong with our bags? Just because we charge you 10p per bag.”

“Would you like our special offer vouchers with your purchase? You can get money off all sorts of crap you don’t use.”

“Why not? Don’t you like our shop or something? You must do. You are standing in it.”

“Now please scan your first item…?”

“Scan it again… And again… What the bloody hell is up with you, it’s not that difficult…”

“Haha, just joking. I read it the first time and have charged you 3 times. You now have to find the “Cancel” button and try again or call that disinterested assistant hiding over there in the corner behind the Chocolate Oranges to help you.”

“Now scan your second item… C’mon, I haven’t got all day… Oh, you have no second item and have pressed “Finished.””

“Is that all you’ve bought, one item? You tight-fisted git, coming in here wasting my bloody time with your sodding Aero bar. I hope you choke on it.”

“Just for that, I will give you all of your change from your fiver in pennies.”

Yeah, I might have exaggerated a bit but not much. Quite a lot of that was actually true.



Categories:Food, Shopping

Tags: , , , , , ,

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