Author Archives

  • The Way I See It

    My ex mother-in-law works in an opticians. Whenever I visited her, she would always ask “And when are you getting your eyes tested?” To which I would always reply: There’s nothing wrong with my eyes. After all, I married your… Read More ›

  • St Patrick’s Day

    Don’t you just love St. Patrick’s Day? It’s the one day of the year where everyone claims some tenuous link to Irish ancestry – like they’ve eaten a potato – and make it their mission to drink copious amounts of… Read More ›

  • The Argos Experience

    Sainsbury’s recently launched a £1.3 billion bid to take over Argos which could see the loss of around 200 Argos shops. Shame because the in-store Argos shopping experience is a very strange and surreal one.You walk up to the cashier… Read More ›

  • Valentine’s Day

    There is a day in February that makes ordinarily sane people’s eyes glaze over, their pulses start racing and their hearts go pop. But enough of my cousin’s drink and legal highs birthday party; I’m here to talk about Valentine’s… Read More ›

  • Darts

    After watching the recent televised World Darts finals, my friend – not my imaginary one, the other one – invited me to game of darts at the local pub. In much the same way as local tennis courts only get… Read More ›

  • Daylight Robbery

    Whilst walking along the High Street the other day, a guy called out to me, “Excuse me, mate. Could you lend me a quid?” Now, leaving aside the issue that we have never met so the term “mate” is a… Read More ›

  • The Perils Of Being A Writer

    People often say to me: “It must be a great life being a writer. You can get up when you want; start work when you want, take extended lunch-breaks, watch daytime tv, even take a notebook and sit in the… Read More ›

  • Welcome to My New Creative Writing Blog

    Hi and welcome. Here you will find my inane observations on every subject ranging from Aardvarks to Zyzzyvas and everything in between. Mainly “everything in between” because I’m not an authority on those animals and they’re really hard to find… Read More ›

  • Paris Olympics

    Breakdancing has moved a step closer to being included in the 2024 Paris Olympics after surprisingly achieving more votes than the French Can-Can, the conga, headbanging, air guitar and dad dancing. Apparently, no one could make up their mind about… Read More ›