Author Archives

Unknown's avatar

  • Lottery

    By on • ( 0 )

    Last week one lucky person in America won 590 million pounds on the Powerball Lottery at odds of 292,000,000 to 1. – the same odds I got on QPR winning a cup tie.I wondered what I’d do if I won… Read More ›

  • Food Waste

    By on • ( 0 )

    Like many parents, my dad would encourage me not to waste food by saying: “There are starving children in Africa who would appreciate that.”And to prove his humanity towards starving people, he’d take me to the Wimpy Bar, point out… Read More ›

  • Testing Times

    By on • ( 0 )

    August sees students across Britain finally receive their exam results.Doubtless, their tension and nervousness will be captured by television news crews for all to see.They will follow Louise as she paces around the school gymnasium before dramatically opening her envelope… Read More ›

  • Chain Letters

    By on • ( 0 )

    I recently received a chain letter. It said it had been sent to me for good luck – and it was lucky because it was the first letter I’d received all year that wasn’t a bill.It explained I would only… Read More ›

  • The Naked Truth

    By on • ( 0 )

    I once accidentally worked for a naturist magazine.It all started when I was in a JobClub – which had similar parties to S Club but with less attractive people.Every weekday I would send off the obligatory 5 job applications with… Read More ›

  • Hopping Mad

    By on • ( 0 )

    I recently went to buy a pair of trainers, unaware how complicated that simple task now is.Having perused the large and colourful array of footwear on the shelves of Sports Direct, I chose a trainer (size 10) and handed it… Read More ›

  • The One Show Theme Tune

    By on • ( 0 )

    Hum the theme tune to EastEnders. Now hum the theme tunes to Coronation Street and Emmerdale. Easy, wasn’t it?Television theme tunes have to be catchy, instantly recognisable and easy to remember.To help in EastEnders’ case, the BBC quickly put lyrics… Read More ›

  • The Trouble With Horror Films

    By on • ( 0 )

    For me, the worst thing about watching horror films is there is always a lot of women screaming in them. At which point, I always hurriedly turn the tv volume down because I never think the neighbours will assume I’m… Read More ›

  • Dr Tiddles

    By on • ( 0 )

    I have many female friends who are convinced that their pets can sense if they are feeling poorly.They’ll say: “I had a sharp pain in my leg and the cat sat on my lap so she must know that my… Read More ›

  • Amateur Tennis

    By on • ( 0 )

    With Wimbledon approaching, middle-aged men in offices will suddenly declare a previously unknown interest in tennis and will, inexplicably, book a largely redundant leisure centre tennis court and invite a work colleague for a game of lunchtime tennis.To impress their… Read More ›