Dr Tiddles

I have many female friends who are convinced that their pets can sense if they are feeling poorly.
They’ll say: “I had a sharp pain in my leg and the cat sat on my lap so she must know that my leg hurts.”
Well, no, if she knew your leg hurt, she wouldn’t sit on your lap and make it more painful, would she?
If pets could sense, detect and recognise ailments, then why haven’t they opened up their own medical surgeries?
The high street would be full of people visiting domestic animals for alternative therapies.
Got a bad back? Need an osteopath? Just go to Dr Tiddles and let her walk across it in a strange soothing massaging, therapeutic way. The way she does so annoyingly when you’re trying to get to sleep.
Need something for that stiff neck? Try Doctor Snake’s therapeutic neck support.
People would be logging into Google to find out what Dr Falcon can recommend for repetitive wrist strain, Dr Budgie for painful finger and Dr Parrot for that shoulder injury.
Animals sit on people. It’s what they do. They’re not empathetic.
There must be a good reason why doctors are prescribing people paracetamol and are not saying to patients “Take 2 cats, 4 times a day and if you’re no saner, come back and see me next week.”
Call me cynical but if you are in physical pain then it is good to rest and lie down. Pets, in general, always tend to lie alongside their owners because they instinctively know that a bed or sofa is gonna be more comfortable than a cold hard floor and prefer to lie there.
It doesn’t mean they are sensitive to your pain, it simply means they like warm beds and nice comfy cushions.
Maybe cats and dogs sit by you when you’re sick because they’re wondering when you’re finally gonna get up and feed them and let them out?
That’s my diagnosis.


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