I’ve Never Known Anything Like It

I’m getting irritated by people who say, in relation to the Coronavirus, “I’ve never known anything like it.”
Every time I’ve reluctantly gone out, people who are supposed to be social distancing, have said that to me.
Of course you haven’t known anything like it, unless you remember the Spanish Flu Epidemic of 1918? None of us have known anything like it. That is why it is helpfully called “a time of uncertainty.”
And do you know what I’ve never known anything like?
So many bloody idiots saying: “I’ve never known anything like this” and I’ve known people who witnessed the trial of O.J. Simpson and watched Torvill and Dean’s Bolero at the 1984 Winter Olympics and saw QPR beat Manchester United at Old Trafford 4-1 on a New Year’s Day.
What exactly haven’t they known? The weird smell of unpolluted fresh air?
The ghost town like, deserted, desolate, tumbleweed strewn high streets? Then they clearly haven’t visited Sheppey on a Sunday.
Maybe they’re used to a hairdressers mysteriously opening every week and didn’t expect them all to close simultaneously?
Maybe they haven’t witnessed people being told by a policeman to “go home and stay there”, when they’re not even drunk?
Or maybe they haven’t seen caution tape stuck to the pavements outside the entrances of supermarkets that are supposed to represent two metres of distancing but in, reality, have been measured by an old guy called Ken with no idea of the metric system of measuring and thinks it’s about 4ft-ish?
Maybe they’re astounded by the number of bookcases, mantelpieces or fireplaces people self-isolating on TV seem to have in their homes as they haven’t seen a coal-man for decades and are wondering if they are burning the books for warmth?
Can they just shut up. I’ll just take it as a “given” that you haven’t known anything like it, unless you’re around 108 and a Spanish Flu survivor.
Now, move along before I have you arrested for making an “unnecessary journey” into my bloody face!
Grrrrr!



Categories:Health, Shopping

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