(1) Stand outside on the pavement in a queue 6ft behind each other. Great exercise as you’ll find yourself 3 miles away and in the next town.
(2) Operating a slow one in, one out policy, you’ll get called inside eventually, so take a sleeping bag.
(3) Baskets are placed just inside the door, presumably because thieves would nick them if they were left outside and sell them for scrap metal?
(4) Once inside, you are only allowed to walk forward in the first aisle, so make sure you carefully choose what you want as you pass because you won’t be allowed to come back down it. One woman tried it because she’d overlooked the diet coke and she got taken away in handcuffs. Well, she got told off by the security guard for almost causing a major security incident.
(5) Resist having a distance panic attack when the guy ahead of you suddenly reverses his trolley towards you to pick up a pizza.
(6) When waiting at the till, stand 6ft behind the person with 3 trolleys. (There’s a war on, y’ know?) And only move forward to the red square to unload your shopping when that person is packing at the far end of the till.
(7) For the length of the till there is a no waiting/standing zigzag exclusion zone to protect the cashier. Only when the customer in front has packed and left, will you be ushered forward and then you must move right through to the end, not stand in front of the cashier and pack at a safe distance.
(8) Ensure on leaving that you have bants with the door security guy, saying something like, “my partner only sent me out because she knows I’m expendable.”
(9) Return home and shoot yourself for going out after telling everyone the previous day that you definitely, definitely wouldn’t.
(10) Don’t be me. Stay safe. And now, I’m now officially done shopping for a month… I hope!