Walkie-Talkie

Public Health England are urging people over 40 to do regular brisk walks – like people do to avoid the chuggers in Maidstone – amid concerns that high levels of inactivity will harm their future health.
Apparently, 1 in 6 deaths are inactivity related – where people are so inactive, they can’t be bothered to live – and 1 in 5 people over 40 take a slow walk for less than 30 minutes a week – which is staggering?
To help, the government is promoting a free app – Active 10 – which monitors the amount of brisk walking someone does and provides tips on how to incorporate more walking into daily routines because juggling chores to prioritise exercise is tricky.
Regular 10 minute walks will make a positive difference to high blood pressure, diabetes, weight issues, lower back pain and help with depression, anxiety and reduce the risk of “early death” by 15% – unless you die at 6am on a morning walk?
They recommend walking to the newsagent instead of using the car – but not, obviously, getting your newspaper delivered – and walking during your lunchbreak, presumably, not to Greggs?
They also suggest joining walking groups like The Ramblers (which have members who drone on and on about walking), hiking, Race Walking, where you keep one foot on the floor, at all times, so as not to be confused with hopping and Nordic Walking, where people ridiculously walk with ski poles on footpaths, so working the upper body too – as they avoid punches to the face?
You should get off the bus one stop early and walk into work and apologise to your boss for your tardiness and don’t use the lift but climb the stairs and risk dying of heart failure instead.
Alarmed by this information overload, my middle-aged neighbour took this advice and started walking 5 miles a day and, by the end of the month, he was 150 miles away from home but felt much healthier.



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