I blame my dad for my film addiction.
As a child, I spent every Sunday afternoon with my dad watching westerns or war films on t.v.
So, it’s strange that I have gone on to loathe the western and war film genre, whereas he continues to watch them and, indeed, won’t watch any film unless ten people have been shot dead in the first five minutes.
Luckily, for me, my dad also introduced me to late night horror films but I’d often fall asleep before the monster or alien appeared.
If I ask him about a film he’s watched, he’ll say things like: “It starts off with a cowboy in a white hat riding over a mountain into town. He ties up his tired horse and walks into the saloon and orders a whiskey…”
He will then tell me, in the minutest of detail, every scene in the film – often taking longer than the actual film, itself.
Yesterday, I told my dad I was visiting a C’eX shop to buy some films and I think he totally misheard me because he said: “Your girlfriend might not approve!”
I would secretly love to work in a C’eX (Complete Entertainment Exchange) shop but would first need all-over tattoos, piercings and to grow a Neanderthal beard.
I have absolutely no idea why, when I’m browsing through the A-Z DVD section, I get secretly annoyed when anyone stands near me and I think “go and find another Letter Section to look at, you’ve got 25 others to choose from.”
Worse, is when you start at letter “A” with the intention of stupidly scanning every film and another “film nerd” with the same intention joins you and it’s like you’re being followed around the shop by the slowest stalker, ever.
Actually, that’s given me an idea for a film.
Obviously, my dad would never watch it as no one gets shot in the first five minutes. Maybe at the end…?