Author Archives

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  • Crazy Times

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    After many years, my watch finally died. I guess it’s time was up.So, I visited the Argos website to search for a new one.I typed in the words “gents watch” and was amazed when the website displayed over 2,000 watches,… Read More ›

  • Weighty Issues

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    After over-indulging in Christmas festivities, many people will make a new year’s resolution to join a slimming club.There’s a definite comfort in joining like-minded, supportive people with a shared goal who are being led and advised by someone who definitely… Read More ›

  • Nativity Nightmares

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    In my first role in a nativity play, I played a triangle. Not literally, it wasn’t a nativity play with a ‘geometric shape theme.’ Jesus wasn’t a rhombus.I held the tiny metal instrument and diligently dinged it at the change… Read More ›

  • My Death Wish

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    Recent reports suggests that costs of funerals are rising sharply and that cemetery spaces are in short supply as people are dying to get in.With this in mind, I decided to plan my own funeral now.Firstly, the coffin. Not only… Read More ›

  • Cold Comforts

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    I’ve just recovered from my first winter cold. As someone who’s had pneumonia 3 times, died once, suffers with malignant hyperthermia and has a history of chest infections, this is always a worrying time. On the one occasion I had… Read More ›

  • Christmas Card Dilemmas

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    Today, I received my first Christmas card. I don’t know whether to applaud this person’s brilliant organisational skills or wonder if they’ve a desperate need to be liked?I’m now morally obliged to speedily send a card back in case delaying… Read More ›

  • Dr Who Knows What?

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    I should have given up watching Dr Who when the wheelie bins ridiculously started eating people or maybe when the Christmas trees attacked?I definitely should have given it up when people were being absorbed by Adipose fat globules as it… Read More ›

  • Wheelie Stupid Cyclists

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    I cannot ride a bicycle.But this isn’t my fault. My dad never bought me a bike. An elder sister had one but I’d have needed a fireman’s ladder to mount the ridiculously high saddle to ride it.So, I never enjoyed… Read More ›

  • Poppy Appeal

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    Contrary to popular opinion, my dad never fought in the war, apart from in the playgrounds of South London.As a child at the outbreak, he was evacuated to Dorset, where he still saw “muck and bullets” but only because he… Read More ›

  • Invasion Of The Bodywarmers

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    With the weather turning noticeably colder, many of us are reaching for our autumn clothing. One of the most popular items in the wardrobe is the bodywarmer.I’ve never understood the concept of the bodywarmer because, like many people, my torso… Read More ›