Invasion Of The Bodywarmers

With the weather turning noticeably colder, many of us are reaching for our autumn clothing. One of the most popular items in the wardrobe is the bodywarmer.
I’ve never understood the concept of the bodywarmer because, like many people, my torso is where I’ve accumulated most of my fat. It’s possibly the most self-insulated and warmest part of my body.
I cannot remember any occasion being outside and thinking: Wow, my sternum is incredibly cold today, I really need to insulate it more. I have, however, on many occasions been outside and thought my arms are freezing.
So surely, clothing manufacturers have their designs all wrong and we should be able to go into a shop and just buy padded thermal sleeves instead?
I would quite happily walk outside in a pair of padded sleeves (because wearing one sleeve would be ridiculous) and let my torso fend for itself against the cold because if you’re gonna wear half a jacket, surely, it’s best to wear the half that’s most useful?
Why do clothing manufacturers think you need a jacket that doesn’t keep your arms warm anyway? You wouldn’t buy the top half of Wellington boots and let your feet get cold.
And why can they cost as much as a coat when it’s only half a coat? Similarly, why can fingerless gloves cost as much as mittens?
And why does ripped denim clothing cost as much when you can’t even give it away to Oxfam because you can’t really send away torn clothes to people with torn clothes? That’s not a fashion gift to them, that’s just insensitive.
Another winter clothing staple is the scarf. Growing up there were only two ways to wear a scarf – knotted or wrapped. Nowadays, fashion designers have invented over 50 ridiculously different ways to tie a scarf but no one has ever said: “I love your scarf and the way you’ve double-looped it around your neck to keep your kidneys warm.”
Please, someone, call the Fashion Police.


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