It’s difficult to trawl through the tv channels without stumbling across a fly on the wall, real-life documentary series.
From the helpful and informative GPs Behind Closed Doors to the excellent 24 Hours in Police Custody and the absolute rubbish, Binmen.
Channel 5 recently commissioned a series on mobile bouncers which, despite the dramatic music and commentary, deals with such gripping storylines as bouncers telling drunk people to move away from a smoking area; helping a homeless man across the road, finding a woman hadn’t overdosed on cocaine but was just suffering a panic attack, turning up late for a one-punch fight and bizarrely wrestling a man with a broken arm onto a car bonnet for no apparent reason. Even I could work for this security company.
The Bouncers even complained about being filmed by the public whilst ironically being filmed by a camera crew.
It really is compulsive viewing but for all the wrong reasons.
But just because you have a job, doesn’t mean you should be followed around by a tv crew. But television executives are obsessed with these shows because they’re cheap and they hope they’ll find “a character” to appear on any subsequent show with the prefix “celebrity” in the title.
If a TV crew decided to follow me around this week, here is what the dramatic voice-over guy might’ve said…
“3am. Russ gets inspiration and scrawls on a bedside notepad the words “Gran, bath and toaster” and hopes they make coherent sense when he gets up.
He goes on a morning beach walk to clear any writer’s block and mentally develop ideas. It fails so he simultaneously visits Google and Wetherspoons for inspiration.
Coming up in part two, we watch Russ catch up on his social media and get upset and have a meltdown as no one responds to his tweet that he thought was hilarious.
Finally, failing to find any good column ideas, Russ watches mind numbing real-life fly on the wall documentaries to help.”