Christmas is a time for children. With this in mind, I have been frantically trying to find out what presents children are likely to want.
I recently saw an advert on television for a baby doll that has a runny nose and really wets it’s nappy. I honestly can’t imagine why any child would want such a thing.
In my day, my sister’s baby dolls were very static and had to be cajoled and coerced into walking or sitting. Nowadays, they’ll cry all night, vomit over your shoulder and, when you’re not looking, break your I-pod.
As a child, my favourite toys were plastic cowboys and Indians with detachable and often losable parts and Matchbox cars that would only move when you pushed them – a bit like the real ones my dad had.
Children today cannot believe how much fun I could have pulling off my cowboys’ heads, swapping their hats and guns and opening and shutting the doors on my cars and, on reflection, nor can I.
It’s difficult to imagine that I could sit for hours pushing two cars across a coffee table and get wildly excited or the immense pleasure I could get from pushing my Action Man off the back of the sofa and shouting Aargh!
Dad always enjoyed Christmas because it gave him a chance to play with all the toys he bought us. We didn’t mind him playing with our toys but it was upsetting when he decided to keep them and give us his presents instead.
There’s not a lot you can do with socks, aftershave and handkerchiefs when you’re six – my sister cried.
As toys that required a certain amount of physical activity on the child’s part got replaced by hypnotising computer technology, researchers claim that the effects of such games are detrimental to our health. How true.
The other day I played a game of football on the computer, fell off and broke my ankle.