The Argos Experience

Sainsbury’s recently launched a £1.3 billion bid to take over Argos which could see the loss of around 200 Argos shops.

Shame because the in-store Argos shopping experience is a very strange and surreal one.
You walk up to the cashier with your reference number for a set of saucepans and they’ll say: ‘That’s a set of saucepans’ and you have to feign surprise like you didn’t know – as if they’ve just revealed your playing card from a pack of 52.
Why do they do this?
Is it because of an incident in 1987 when a man thought he’d purchased saucepans, brought them home to discover it was a Space-hopper, put it on the stove anyway and set fire to his kitchen and sued them?
And then they’ll say: ‘Right, that’s a set of saucepans at £27.99… That’ll be… £27.99!’
Seriously, who knew?
You turn down the ‘extra cover’ offer on the grounds that you expect saucepans to last and that you know how they work and are not planning on any ‘accidental damage’ by dropping them over your balcony.
You also reject the offer of an Argos Card because you were planning on selling your soul to the devil as a cheaper alternative.
Transaction complete, you get mildly excited as the numbers just prior to yours are called and then anxious, agitated and angry as the ones immediately after yours are called. Then, more so, when you see your item on the shelf behind but none of the staff have noticed.
On leaving, there is always some poor soul who has been taken by complete surprise of the size and weight of the flatpak furniture they’ve been sent into to buy and you feel their pain as they slowly stagger past you with a sideboard over their shoulder like Jesus carrying his cross on the way to his crucifixion.
Obviously, I could just by-pass the whole experience and just order goods online but, secretly, it wouldn’t be half the fun.


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