Paris Olympics

Breakdancing has moved a step closer to being included in the 2024 Paris Olympics after surprisingly achieving more votes than the French Can-Can, the conga, headbanging, air guitar and dad dancing. Apparently, no one could make up their mind about the Hokey Cokey, which was in, then out again.

A breakdancing team will consist of 4 players. One to dance like Colon from The Rock Steady Crew whilst the others stand around in shell suits, holding their cigarette, wallet and mobile phone.

Organisers are hoping to take breakdancing and other urban sports out of stadiums and onto the streets of Paris, which will doubtless cause traffic chaos in the Champs Elysees, with teams of Olympians bungee jumping off The Eiffel Tower.

There’s surprising omissions for French sounding sports like lacrosse, croquet and boules plus, the only sport I can definitely identify as French, Parkour – which translates as climbing and jumping off buildings whilst wearing a big thick coat with a fake fur lined hood.

The IOC’s plan is to make the games “more appealing to the younger generation”, which explains why they also overlooked, squash, dominoes, conkers and Subbuteo. Instead, they want sports to be more “spectacular and creative,” so they’ve genuinely introduced Boulder Climbing, BMX Freestyle and Surfing. Whether that’s surfing on water or surfing the internet, which is very appealing to youngsters, is unclear.

Skateboarding is also included, although Britain will not be represented as our skateboarders seemingly have trouble trying to successfully mount a kerb.

It’s notable that many Olympic sports are heavily based around using weapons and violence, like: Archery, fencing, boxing, judo, karate and shooting. So maybe the natural progression is to include International Olympic Call Of Duty teams to kill zombies.

And with the IOC’s ongoing remit to appeal to the diverse younger generations of today, maybe it won’t be long before we see other popular teenage sports like endurance pool playing, rhythmic pizza eating, extreme selfie taking and freestyle drug running. You couldn’t get more diverse than that.

Categories:Sport, Uncategorized

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