Author Archives

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  • The Sun And The Pain

    They say hot weather makes people irritable. But maybe it’s the heat making sane people do stupid things that makes us all grumpy?For example, I have never understood why people put sunglasses on top of their heads. What possible use… Read More ›

  • Cash Machines

    With my wallet in need of some resuscitation, I visited the cash machine.I hate cash machines. I hate standing behind people and having to guiltily swivel my head away in an exaggerated fashion like Beetlejuice to prove that I am… Read More ›

  • Sooty

    Sooty is 70 this year and is celebrating with a new tv series and live theatre tour. There’s also plans for him to star in his own blockbuster movie. Wow! Talk about “Izzy Wizzy, let’s get busy!”Bought on Blackpool pier… Read More ›

  • My Lad’s Birthday Card Dilemma

    My lad is celebrating his 18th birthday this week but trying to find an appropriate birthday card for him has been a nightmare because they weirdly assume all teenage boys love fishing, golf, bowls or football.Naturally, he likes none of… Read More ›

  • Amateur Mechanics

    I have absolutely no idea why some guys love spending their summer weekends lying underneath their cars.As someone with a rational fear of getting run over, I can think of few worse places to be than under a vehicle.I’m not… Read More ›

  • My O.B.E.

    The NHS is celebrating 70 years of service and, like many people, I owe them my life.I was a very sickly child and extremely prone to chest infections.It would be harsh to blame my mum for this, but I’ve absolutely… Read More ›

  • Rubbish Ice Creams

    In this hot weather, there’s fewer things more disappointing than seeing a shop advertising lovely ice cream, ordering it, only to find a guy scraping out frozen solid scoops of ice cream and plastering it haphazardly onto a cone, especially… Read More ›

  • Talking Scents

    I can often smell my neighbour’s cooking as it wafts its way up the stairs and into my flat.This is fine when they are making bacon rolls for breakfast or a nice Sunday roast and, at these times, I wish… Read More ›

  • Horror-scopes

    I remember that I was 14 and on holiday in Southend when I first entered a fortune teller’s tent. She took one look at my strapping frame and insisted that I was going to join the army.I knew that I… Read More ›

  • Schoolboy Errors

    With the World Cup underway, it’s time to make a confession…My name is Russell O’Connor and I’m addicted to football.There, that’s the first time I’ve admitted it publicly.It’s strange because, given my many miserable football related childhood experiences, I should… Read More ›