As part of my Lounge Renovation Programme – which basically means just buy some newer stuff – I spotted a nice lightshade in Poundstretchers – Because I’ve never been materialistic.

My aunt said she had one similar in her bedroom. I have no idea as I’ve never visited her bedroom. Why would I? And so, on her recommendation, I bought the nice dangly lightshade.

Now, in normal land, I can change a lightshade in just over a minute. But, oh no, my friends, I had never come across a light shade with dangly bits before.

I unpackaged the lightshade from it endless polythene wrap. I had unwrapped an ex-girlfriend like this once when she was dressed in cling-film. On the plus side, she had kept well in the freezer for 3 months.

I then discovered that each dangly bit was wrapped in its own plastic sleeve and each sleeve was secured by stupidly tight Sellotape and every piece of stupidly tight Sellotape was also wrapped around a very flimsy hook that would bend out of shape if you so much as breathed on it and the dangly bit would somehow always find its way to the open bit of hook and fall to the floor.

I’d then have to pick up the dangly bit, thread it back onto the hook, thread the hook back onto the lightshade and squeeze the hook with pliers to ensure it never escaped again.

I now know why you never saw this challenge on The Crystal Maze… It took me 45 minutes!

Joe Wicks is going to put this activity in his next fitness video because there’s a lot of bending as you have to pick each dangly bit up off the floor and lots of stretching as you try and see where the lightshade fits into the ceiling socket as your view is obscured by the dangly bits.

Must admit, it does look quite nice. But the next time my aunt says she has a dangly bit lightshade, I’m just going to nick hers and buy her a replacement so as she can do all the fiddly stuff with the dangly bits.

I’ll leave that sentence there, shall I?

Grrrr!

Categories:Home, Shopping

Tags: Dangly Bits, Home Improvement, Joe Wicks, Lightshade, Poundstretchers, Sellotape, The Crystal Maze