The Unreal Meal Deal

Whilst visiting my fiancée in hospital, I popped into the onsite W.H. Smith Shop for something to eat.
I decided to have the meal deal – although, it’s not technically a “meal” and if your partner said to you “let’s go out for a meal” and you got yourself showered and dressed up and they took you to a garage and presented you with a sandwich, crisps and a bottle of pop, you’d be very disappointed.
After excessive pondering, I took my fayre to the counter. Checking my selection with the cashier before paying, he informed me that nothing I’d chosen was eligible and that should I buy them, I’d be paying full price for each item.
Sensing my disbelief, he explained that my choice of a chicken and bacon sandwich, packet of Wotsits and a Lucozade were all unhealthy options and whilst, they would’ve been included in a meal deal anywhere else, it was the hospital policy to encourage and promote healthy eating and so a discount wasn’t included for these unhealthy selections.
This is ridiculous, I thought. I’m not a patient here, what does it matter what I’m eating in the hospital and why sell unhealthy food if you don’t want anyone to buy it?
Examining my chicken and bacon sandwich, I wondered how much fat was in the bacon as it was clearly rindless, presumably in case a doctor wasn’t available to perform the Heimlich Manoeuvre, and was grilled down to the size of a chewing gum stick. My Wotsits looked like a reduced size packet and I believed Lucozade was a health recovery drink that’s often on hospital lockers.
He told me I’d mistakenly selected items from the wrong fridge and that I was to select items from the healthy fridge.
“Which is the healthy fridge?” I asked.
“The slimmer one,” he said.
Naturally, I thought.
So, I forlornly walked back and purchased some light bake crisps, a Pepsi Max and a chicken sandwich which was virtually identical to the chicken and bacon sandwich.


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