Recently, throughout France, violent riots broke out in a chain of supermarkets after they reduced the price of Nutella by 70% from £3.90 a jar to £1.40.
One woman had her hair pulled out, another suffered a black eye and a cut hand and a third, reportedly, “took a box to her head” – whether this box was bashed on her head; whether she carried out a whole box of Nutella on her head or she used a box to cover her face from looking embarrassed on CCTV, is unclear.
Here, the nearest we have to such disorder is on Black Friday, where people queue overnight outside stores to grab a supposed bargain.
There are four types of these people…
Firstly, there’s the sensible people who need an item, see that it’s selling for cheaper than normal and go and buy it, making it a genuine bargain.
Some will buy the goods with the sole intention of selling them online at a tidy profit to pay for their Christmas festivities.
Then, there are idiots who will just buy something because it’s cheaper without having thought through their need for it and come home with a self-satisfied grin until they realise they already own six 52-inch television sets.
Finally, there are those people who just want a legitimate reason to punch a random stranger in the face.
Globally, people will queue outside stores until midnight to buy the latest Apple iPhone only to find they cannot phone anyone to tell them the good news because all their sane friends and family have gone to bed.
Personally, I’ve noticed women going mental every August when the basic school uniforms are issued in supermarkets. Women frantically grabbing at white blouses and shouting across the aisle “Your Charlotte’s a medium, isn’t she, Sarah?”
But surely, if Charlotte was a medium, she would have said to her mum that the spirit world has told them to avoid the ridiculous frenzied bargain sales?